Overfunctioning, Underfunctioning, and the Search for Balance

In the last year I discovered the work of Dr. Brene Brown. It feels odd to use her full name and title because in my head we are good friends. Her research is fascinating and the hours we’ve spent with her speaking directly to me (okay, fine – they were audio books) gave me more than a few insights on my path to know myself better. My favorite new-to-me concept from Brene is that of overfunctioning and underfunctioning…

(Originally published 05/03/20 for Oya Yoga Studio)

In the last year I discovered the work of Dr. Brene Brown.  It feels odd to use her full name and title because in my head we are good friends.  Her research is fascinating and the hours we’ve spent with her speaking directly to me (okay, fine – they were audio books) gave me more than a few insights on my path to know myself better. 

My favorite new-to-me concept from Brene is that of overfunctioning and underfunctioning.  The distinction was developed by psychologist Murray Bowen and to keep it simple both are stress/anxiety responses: over does too much, under does too little.  I typically thought of anxiety responses as simply fight of flight (freeze and fawn being newer additions to the list) and did not give it much more space in my mind.  If I was not running from the room or having some sort of argument, I assumed I was doing fine.   

The reality is far more nuanced.

Continue reading “Overfunctioning, Underfunctioning, and the Search for Balance”

My inbox at zero

I have (basically) no e-mails in my inbox. I’m not talking about work. I’m talking about the hundreds of personal ones that are about all my stuff and my kid’s stuff and sometimes my husband’s stuff. A fair percentage of these e-mails usually need some sort of attention, though not particularly urgently.

It’s taken me the better part of a year but I’ve finally gotten my e-mail to a happy place. It’s not exactly rocket science, but I did a few things for a long time and slowly but surely it got better, and I got better. Before I go on – can I just tell you how awesome it us to not be using my e-mail in box as a weird sort of to-do list? All that blankness is inspiring. Continue reading “My inbox at zero”